when all you can think about is suicide. How you'll do it and when. It's bad when you've got more than 5 ways to kill yourself. Then you think about it and feel like it's not a bad idea. That no one's going to care about you, even though a little voice tells you they will. But then you dismiss that voice and tell it that it's for the better to do off with yourself. Then you start to cry, not because you don't want to die, but because you didn't want to have to come to this. You didn't want to feel the hurt of the emotions inside of you and you hoped they would never come but they did. Now it's all up to waiting for the time when you's cease to exist.